Your Sense of Disbelief and Other Things You Didn’t Know You Could Air Fry

Your Sense of Disbelief

Believe it or not, you can suspend your disbelief in an air fryer and turn it into a delicious yet nutritious benefit-of-the-doubt. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and try it- you’ll be saying “you could be right” in no time!

An Old, Dusty Turnip

This old turnip comes with a long backstory that you didn’t ask for but heard about anyway. He lets his cigarette form way too much ash, to the point where you want to say something but don’t know how to say it without being rude. He keeps saying he’s from the old country, but you’re not quite sure what that means. On his dying days he makes a request to you: eat him, but don’t increase your cholesterol by using conventional cooking oil. 

Non-Binary Rage

It’s annoying being non-binary in a binary world. What can you do with all that pent-up energy? You can turn it into yummy rage crisps. Just scream your frustrations into the air fryer, season with salt, and enjoy! Beginners should start with simple recipes, such as the phrase “There’s no such thing as LOOKing non-binary!” 


If you can find this delicacy, then it makes a perfect substitute for non-binary rage for cis folks and non-binary folks who have their anger under control. Instead of screaming, you are going to slice these little wonders into small circles until you have a litter of them. Gently place them into the air fryer, season with salt, and enjoy your dinner. 

Creepy Dolls

Do you have an antique doll sitting in the corner of your room? Do you sometimes hear a child’s laughter but there is no one home? You’ve got yourself a certified creepy doll, and in all likelihood- you’re cursed. Don’t fret! Curses are just like infestations. All you have to do is get to the source of the problem. In this case, chuck this Victorian antique doll into your air fryer and enjoy a banquet fit for a king. 

Tik Tok

Everyone mindlessly wastes calories on this app by scrolling endlessly through a sea of rich, white teens. Don’t you think it’s time you took some of those calories back? Through the amazing technology of an air fryer, now you can munch on the energy of the youth. You’ve been tired, haggard even. Your life source will finally be replenished, all with less fat than a regular fryer.

Bex Nava
Author: Bex Nava
Bex is a UC Davis alumni who started their own standup and improv clubs on campus. They are now on a journey to make comedy more inclusive and accessible. Find them one day running a queer cafe/comedy venue.