Just when you thought sexism had been solved, Arizona man Edward Fontana has whisked us back from the edge of equality once more. Fontana recently shocked and horrified those in his life with his controversial statements. While his exact words are too explicit to share in writing, his own mother, Theresa, has summarized them for us.
“This little pissant just said he doesn’t think women are as funny as men. Which is rich, because his entire sense of humor is just quoting Borat. He’s not even good at the voice. I’M good at the Borat voice. But he isn’t. And when I say that’s his whole sense of humor, I mean it. I mean, it’s sickening, honestly. Write your own material.”
When asked to comment, Fontana declined. However, a recently posted Facebook status revealed he was watching Borat for the third time this week.
“I’d like to make one thing clear,” his mother began. “I think Borat is a great movie. I mean, talk about pushing the envelope. But Jesus, where did I go wrong with this kid? He doesn’t think women are funny? Hello, Wanda Sykes? Lily Tomlin? RuPaul?”
We quickly informed Mrs. Fontana that RuPaul is actually a drag queen, but that didn’t stop her. “Her costumes are so beautiful, aren’t they?” We have to agree, Theresa!
The truth is that Borat is an extremely funny movie. Personally, the naked fight scene is my favorite part. I’d go so far as to say it’s cinematic, even. Women know that Borat is funny. Women have always known this. But the existence of Sacha Baron Cohen’s characters do not threaten the inherent comedic prowess of female comedians. So why does one man being funny mean women aren’t?
We once again pressed Edward for comment, but he declined. Again, he updated his status to “my wife!!!!!” That’s a start, Edward! His mother had a few more words for us.
“Next time I get the chance, I’m gonna sit him down and make him watch 9 to 5, then Bridesmaids, and then Girls Trip, and then we can watch Borat but only because I actually happen to really like it. Jesus. I mean, come on. Saying the lines from a movie that came out fifteen years ago doesn’t make you funny. My son couldn’t tell an original joke if his life depended on it, and he’s got the nerve to say women aren’t funny?”
They always do, Theresa!