Take These 6 Vitamins For the Most Expensive Pee Ever!

Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina may smell like flowers and be your favorite $75 candle, but have you ever thought about her pee…

Me either.

But if I did, I would think about all the expensive vitamins that just exit her system on a daily basis #peegoals. 

Want to get your pee game on fleek? Try these 6 super expensive vitamins!

1. Elysium NAD +: It may sound like a cult you totally would join… But did you know, as we speak, your DNA is aging and become old and gross and way past its prime? Wanna stop that? Elysium claims to be able to keep your cells and DNA healthy and make you as young as possible on a cellar level for 40 bucks a month. Because who wants old DNA?!

2. WelleCo The Super Elixir Super Greens: Don’t want to eat vegetables and would rather spend $125 on a bottle of fake vegetables instead? Then the Super Elixir Super Greens is for you! If not, just eat a salad.

3. Goop High School Genes: Remember when you had the metabolism of the Gods in high school? Me neither. But apparently, Gwyneth did, and now she has a pill that’ll bring it back, or for the first time.

4. Sakara RX: The Foundation: Apparently this the only vitamin you will need, which is good because it costs you $120 for 30 days.

5. Moon Juice Super Hair: The hair is where it’s at. So why not drop $60 bucks at Sephora on these little beauties? Fabio mane here you come.

6. Awaken Gold: In a slump? Thinking cloudy? Well, you can turn that frown upside down and increase your positivity with Awaken Gold. While not the woke pill I was hoping for, this vitamin says it brings uplifting and cognitive improvements. So you can positively remember you spent $99 bucks on a vitamin.

You can Amazon Prime yourself to amazing health and just pee out what you don’t need! Because nothing says “first world problems” like having a vitamin habit worth hundreds. Tune in next time as we discuss which precious metals you can swallow… hint, it’s none of them.

Anastasia Washington
Bi Racial Actress, Comedian, Writer, Podcaster, Filmmaker and Curvy Positive model. You can keep with her and all things Anastasia at https://linktr.ee/anastasiawash.