Author: Callie Webb
Weird How My Birthday is in 35 Days and None of You Have Said Anything
Fine. Fine! Okay, I’ll say it. You’re all being insane. You’re all being terrible people and monsters and bad friends. None of you have said…
My Friend Got Good News, How Can I Make This About Me?
“Congrats! So happy for you! It couldn’t have happened to a better person!” These are all things we say when a dear friend shares their…
How to Achieve Bouncy Romantic Curls…For Nobody to See Because You’ve Been Avoiding Human Contact Since March 2020
Just because there’s a pandemic, doesn’t mean you can’t revel in luxurious, romantic, bouncy curls. Here are some styling tips to achieve your dream hair…
Biden’s New Climate Initiative to Require All Greenhouse Gases to “Quit Horsin’ Around Out There”
President Biden’s first 100 days may be up, but the 78-year-old President is holding no prisoners with his climate initiatives. A new policy is making…
New Gun Control Law Requires All Gun Owners to Shoot Self in Foot Before Purchase
In an out of character act of compromise, the US government has reached a conclusion on how to maintain Second Amendment Rights while promoting gun…
So You Cut Your Hair and None of Your Friends Explicitly Said They Like It: Now What?
The unthinkable has happened. Every human being’s worst nightmare. You’ve been through the wringer, and it didn’t make you stronger, it just made you worse….
Relationship Goals! This Woman Has a Boyfriend
What? How? Why? Who? These are the questions that entered our collective hive mind when we learned of this groundbreaking shift in reality. Somehow, against…
Local Pharmacist Really Loving All This Attention Lately
Well, well, well. Look who EVERYONE suddenly wants to talk to. That’s right, it’s me: Imogen Glump, local pharmacist extraordinaire. Suddenly I’m not just the…
Brave! Sun-Maid Announces the Woman on the Raisin Box is Bisexual
All around the world, people are applauding one woman’s bravery and authenticity. And that woman is none other than the gorgeous gal you know from…
Unbelievable: Your Least Favorite Person from High School is Normal Now
This sucks: your least favorite person from high school is normal now. It has recently come to your attention that the least cherished, most hated,…