Unbelievable: Your Least Favorite Person from High School is Normal Now
This sucks: your least favorite person from high school is normal now. It has recently come to your attention that the least cherished, most hated,…
New TikTok Dance To “Taps” A Great Way to Ruin Grandpa’s Funeral
TikTok teens are at it again, and this time, everyone is dying for their chance to get in on the fun! When 17-year-old Carmela noticed…
Sk8er Boi Achieves His Final Form: Visor Dad
Hey there. It’s me… you know, Sk8er Boi! You know, from the song, “He was a sk8er boi, she said see you later boy” …….
Local Lesbian Faces Identity Crisis After Fantasizing About Lord Hastings From Bridgerton
I understand these days things are fluid. Everyone is a little bit queer, a little bit pan. Literally, everyone has some feels for Kristen Stewart….
New OkCupid Feature Connects You to a Hot Robot Who is Programmed to Love You
This news couldn’t come soon enough: OK Cupid has announced a new feature with guaranteed relationship satisfaction. Now, thanks to a superintelligent AI built into…
Valentine’s Day Gifts That Say “I Love You” Even Though This is Our First Date
When a person asks you out on a date in February, you should obviously take it as a romantic gesture and assume they want a…
Friendship Terminated: My “Fitness” Friend Claimed Fruit Was a Reasonable Dessert
It’s going great! This new friendship of yours. You have so much in common—you have the same taste in mostly everything—you love a decent mix…
Age of Aquarius: What it Means and How to Use it as an Excuse For Absolutely Everything
The moon, the sun and some planets are moving into a new alignment. This means your life will most likely remain the same…except you will…
Celebrity Struggles to Find Acceptably “Middle Class” Background for Zoom Interview
My agent gave me a ring and offered me a chance to be on the Tonight Show. Jimmy is one of my closest friends so…
6 Slutty Outfits to Wear While Picking Up Your Meds
1. Long sleeve shirt with fringe, wide brim hat, gun holster, assless chaps You have a right to feel unique in this outfit. You’re showing…
