“My Sage Ritual Is Definitely What Has Protected Me From COVID” Says Woman With Millions of Dollars
I’ve always been an advocate of self-care. I believe it’s every individual’s responsibility to take every available step to achieve optimal wellness, even if taking…
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: Help Me Find the Boyfriend I Lost in Ikea
Kara Boyari has been searching for her missing boyfriend Jason, that she lost in Ikea, for 10 days now, and things are starting to look…
Local Woman Enters Rigorous Training Program to Prepare Comebacks For “Next Time”
A local woman is mentally preparing day and night for a confrontation with a coworker that may never happen. Melanie Griffith, no relation to the…
How Many Hair Products Do I Need To Use to Convince Myself I’m Not Unemployed?
It’s the world of COVID-19, and all we want to do is COVID-WhineTeen. We’ve been laid off from our jobs, and it’s basically impossible…
The Best Wine Pairings for the Awful Taste 2020 Has Put in Your Mouth
What is that AWFUL taste? Maybe it’s bad breath. Or maybe it’s the combination of fear, sadness and rage that 2020 has put in your…
Inventor of the Phrase “Where’s My Hug?” Granted Nobel Prize for Worst Person
At long last, the eggheads in Sweden have spoken! Retired pharmaceutical representative Tripp Mason, 62, of Stamford, Connecticut will finally be recognized for his achievements…
Woman to Finally Become Happy After Buying One More Soap
Kendra Rahmann has 15 spare bar soaps and 7 dispensers of liquid soap in her bathroom closet. The varieties range from small batch goat’s milk…
10 Childhood Snacks That Need to Be Brought Back During Quarantine
Staying at home sure makes me hungry… and nostalgic. Thanks to Dunkaroos for coming back in full force when we truly needed them. But what…
“It’s Okay, No Man I’ve Ever Known Has Had a Top Sheet Either” Your Mother Consoles You
You haven’t been this excited in months. You went on a few amazing dates with this hot ass dude from Tinder, and since he slept…
Woman Unsure Where Toxic Thoughts End, Toxic Reality Begins
Melanie Soto has been stewing in some really negative energy recently, but she’s having a hard time locating the source. Melanie’s baseline skews a bit…
