How to Survive as a Poor Person (Written By a Very Rich Person)
I’ve been hearing many things about a rising cost of living and it breaks my heart that people are struggling. So, I wanted to give…
Man in His 30s Devastated to Discover Actions Have Consequences
Weeps and wails echoed through the petite Maine suburb streets. Concerned residents of Boystown peeked out of their windows, half-hidden behind their drapes, searching for…
I Saved Hundreds Last Year By Making All My Coffee at Home and Not Once Leaving the House
The average millennial spends around $2,000 a year on coffee. When I found this out, I was floored! That’s a lot of money. And I,…
Tesla Makes Apologists’ Dreams Come True With New In-Car “Sorry Switch”
Have you ever made an error or five behind the wheel? Of course you have. A revolutionary study from the McAuliffe Institute concludes that there…
Woman’s Growling Stomach Gets More Floor Time in Meeting Than She Does
When Jodie raised her hand to chime in at the budgeting meeting yesterday, it was no surprise that her comments were interrupted so the all-male…
Nintendo Confirms Yoshi Has No Asshole
Nintendo has finally put to rest one of the most hotly debated topics in all of gaming history. For 28 years, fans typed furious forum…
Ugh I’m So Busy, Says Friend Who Has Seen Every Episode of The Bachelorette
Corinne Harris can barely find the time to RSVP to Friendsgiving, let alone attend. Her life is just so crazy with her full-time job, regimented…
Carrying Mace May Decrease the Odds of a Surprise Party, New Study Says
Middle children and attention seeking adults everywhere long for the day where all of their friends blow them off, in the hopes that maybe, just…
Just One More Episode and Other Lies I Tell Myself
A day in the life of a liar with zero impulse control: Five more minutes One more push of the snooze button I’m getting out…
This American Girl Doll Comes with Her Very Own Tiny Bong
Julie, the beloved American Girl doll and Woodstock devotee, will now come packaged with a doll-sized bong. “It’s important that we here at American Girl…
